My dream girl...

As my fingers start moving on these keys on my dark keyboard, I am looking at a brighter aspect of life. A movie that I had just seen in television just worked as an inspiration into scripting this piece of literary rambling, but I am pretty sure this would make interesting reading as these words come right from the heart. There is that eternally romantic song playing in the background....There is the picture of the woman who captured my heart and occupied my dreams for the first time in my life...There is the yearning for being wanted by that single individual from the opposite sex, who would make you a complete man. Love is not in the air...but, I can certainly feel the breeze blowing past the strands of my hair and I know that it is indeed on it's way....I just need to realise it and hold on to it when it sweeps past me.
Before I start on the journey of discovering love through words written here, let me ask myself the all important question. What is love? Do I know what love is and will I be able to identify it when it happens to me? I need to be sure about it because if I am not, then what will follow in this literary piece will lose it's meaning. I have always seen love not just as an emotion. It is more than that. If you ask me, I would probably treat love as an extra sense...something other than the five basic senses. I know that you will laugh at my conclusion. But, what are our senses? They give us a perception about the world around us. Taste, Smell, Touch, Sight, Feel....so, in effect they help us in conducting ourselves as organized and better individuals. Now, how does love work as a sense? Have you ever observed a guy in love? He might be a guy not worried about his looks...not worried about time....not worried about his health. Once, he falls in love, he suddenly undergoes a complete metamorphosis. In most cases, I can confidently state that the rough guy becomes a well dressed and polished gentleman. It happens because the guy suddenly has a partner to impress and that makes him more conscious in whatever he does. Even though most guys do not admit it, it is natural law that an entity from one gender would try it's best to impress a partner from the opposite gender. We call it love. Nature gives it a better name...Protection of the species, because it eventually leads to offsprings and ensures that the species is saved from extinction.
I have always tried to visualise the girl of my dreams. I know that the woman who occupied my heart during my college days is never going to fade away from memory. First love and first kiss always remains in your mind. When I talked to a person who became a close friend within a very short span of time, I was forced to think about my life and the significance of love in my life. I have always wondered what it would feel like to wake up everyday from bed at the crack of dawn and visualise that beautiful face even before my eyes opened up into the realms of reality around me. The sight of her face within my mind and behind my closed eyes, will be a promise of good luck and a hope of a great day. When I open my eyes, my first thought would be to grab her photo so perfectly captured and so elegantly framed, and give it a kiss, assuring myself that I am going to see her again. What a great start for a day. I will not feel lazy or tired in doing my morning chores because the main target for the day was to see her again and talk to her. I spend more time in front of the mirror chosing my dress, arranging my hair and giving finishing touches to my whole attire. Obviously, my dress would be the type and colour that she prefers. I do not want to come a cropper before her at the start of a wonderful day.
As I step within the four walls of my destination, I could visualise her standing inside, waiting for me to come in. The anxious eyes and the nervous cracking of her fingers, expecting my arrival would assure me that here is a person who is really eager to see me. When I walk in, I can see her eyes growing wide and that closed lips opening up , into a beautiful smile. I can read her joy in finally having set eyes upon me. But, the professional within her forbades her from an excessive display of emotions. I can see her fidgetting in her position, trying hard not to make it obvious. The eyes which were looking out into the corridors and the ears which were strained to catch the sound of my footsteps, were suddenly diverted into work. I understood that it was a ploy to convince me that my entrance did not cause any difference in her demaneour. As I sign the attendance register, I can see the disturbed body language and the sideways glances. I knew that I just had to spread my arms and she would come running to me.
When she walks past me, I forget to admire her looks or physical appearance. None of the usual comments that comes from a guy's mouth on seeing a beautiful girl, is delivered here. I just stand still, my eyes closed and inhale her feminine aroma. I know that her fragrance will be etched in my senses and I will be able to recognise it from a distance. As she walks past me, she is careful not to look at me and smile. I know that she does that purposefully, to playfully irritate me. As my anger boils over, and she has gona quite a distance from me, she looks back and gives me that charming smile. At that moment, all the anger that I had carefully constructed, shatters into pieces. Anger loses it's meaning in front of her and I am transformed into a kitten from the roaring lion that I was moments ago. Women are indeed powerful and quite capable in harnessing a guy's feelings. As I work, she comes and stands behind my chair. I don't even have to look back to know that she is there. Her presence suddenly elevates the performance levels of my senses and I am more alert than ever. She carefully watches me work without uttering a word. Meanwhile, my mind yearns for a touch and I pray to God for her fingers to brush my shoulders. Fortunately, God was awake and grants me my wish. As her fingers accidentally brushed against my body, my whole body shuddered and it made her also conscious and she suddenly walked away. I cursed for the sensitive response from my body to the physical touch that I most yearned for. But, even as she walked away, she once again gave me that sensous smile. Smile ceases being a physical expression and becomes a poem on her face, laced with the charm of her feminine beauty.
Suddenly, it is afternoon and time for lunch. When we sit for having our food, she makes it a point to sit across me. As I try hard to concentrate on my food, I can see her dark eyeballs following my each move. Even as I stretch to reach for the glass of water, she shows an unnecessary hurry in passing it to me. When I take the glass from her hand, my fingers accidentally brushes against her fingers and I could sense her body shudder this time. People sitting around was having a whale of a time joking about us, but we were totally oblivious to their comments. We were lost in a world of our own and we were communicating through our eyes. Even as she finished her lunch and was about to move out, I was coming in for another glass of water. We almost bumped into each other and I could see her cheeks turning bright red as I held her to prevent her from falling. Her hand felt cold and it felt like she did not want to get up. Yet again, she awarded me with that million dollar smile.
Before we knew it, it was evening. We moved out of office and went straight to the beach. When we sat on the beach, with her head on my chest and both of us looking out into the sea, I knew this was the life I had yearned for. The setting sun had made the sky a colourful canvas and there was a myriad of colours strewn over the horizon. Sunset signifies the end of the day, but for us, it provided the perfect setting to hold onto each other more strongly. With her head on my shoulders, I felt more responsible and realised that she made me complete. WIth her hand inside my hand and my cheek resting on her head, I realised that this was the most beautiful moment of the day. It was slowly getting dark, but we were not really noticing it. We were seeing the ocean with it's powerful waves and feeling the love we had for each other.I knew then that I do not have to be someone else with this wonderful woman. She accepted me as I am and what more can I expect from my partner. I realised that it was no longer me and her...but US!!!
Coming back to the real world, I know that it is all a dream. But, I presume everybody needs to dream. Dreams have transformed nations and individuals. The power to dream is awesome. Hence, I too will dream of that woman, who will accept me with all my negative points and appreciate the positives within me... who will stand beside me in times of distress and offer me her lap to rest my head when I am tensed...who will run her fingers through my hair and kiss my forehead making me relaxed and happy....who will listen to my worries and will help me get over them all....who will always give me a smiling face and make me smile too. The day such a girl walks into my life will be my judgement day...but, this judgement day will be for the good and definitely for life!!!!
Let me sign off with the lyrics of the song which I was hearing when I started writing this anecdote

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing

Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
I don't wanna close my eyesI don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you, babyAnd I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of youThe sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babyAnd I don't wanna miss a thing


I LOVE YOU MY DREAM GIRL!!!

The idea of flight

I looked up at the clear sky. There were not too many white clumps of vapour or better still, as it is normally called, clouds. The day was sunny and pleasant. Suddenly, I saw an eagle hovering high above. Outlined against the vast expanse of the sky, it looked small and insignificant. But, the sight of the black outline of the bird with the stretched wings, projected a more significant meaning than just a bird in flight. For me, the sight suddenly portrayed freedom!!!

The sight had a lasting impression and made me think about the relation between freedom and flight. Being a born thinker, it was not long before my brain was smoking with thoughts, complicated ones at that. For a start, I remembered that right from the time I started reading and understanding English, I have heard a particular statement which explains freedom aptly.

"He/She is a free bird". It is strange that the concept of freedom linked to a human being who is a social "animal" as we say, is connected to a totally different class of living things. A bird in flight for us, signifies freedom than anything else. The mere concept of flying or floating in space gives the impression of independence, liberation and anything associated with freedom. On the other hand, we tend to give the statement, "He/She is a caged animal" to signify the lack of freedom. Maybe the lack of freedom makes you equivalent to an animal, very much connected to the ground and feeling the surface, while freedom makes you equivalent to a bird, without any physical connection to any surface and just floating along the air.

Moreover, from a literary perspective, flight got a very strong bond with human emotions and character. Writers generally tend to write expressions like "His dreams fly high". So, flight is linked to our thoughts, dreams and imagination. Emotions may run high, but imagination always flies. Have you ever noticed very young kids, who have not really started reasoning things out? They generally tend to throw things and are quite amused by the object rising high in the air. Try throwing the kid up in the air and majority of them would absolutely love it, than being cradled in the arm. I think that is also the reason why kids are so amused by aeroplanes. They can feel or touch other objects as they are on ground and give a better sensory understanding. But, aeroplanes and birds which fly high, are beyond their sensory range and they feel awed by the sight. So, obviously the idea of flight is naturally amusing to human beings.

Moreover, I believe human beings became the most superior race in the world, because of their natural curiosity for the unknown. The curiousity level of the humans must have got to a saturation point, about how the birds flew, when they finally decided to try out the idea. The numerous accidents, some of which were fatal, did not diminish their efforts. The ability to fly was finally available for human beings. But, I believe that the root of all this was the sheer wish to feel free and complete. If you ask a group of people about their sense of freedom, I can easily see many of them choosing flying as an example. So, flight in general epitomized freedom.

I ride on the wings of freedom.......

The first page of my diary!!!!

Hi there....Namaste...Good afternoon!!! Today, I decided to start writing and express myself freely through you. You are more than just a huge and heavy book for me. You are gonna be my best friend and the keeper of my conscience. From now on, noone else will know what happens inside this complicated head of mine. You are gonna be a part of me. So, as a first step, I should try not to see you as a book. A book is immediately associated wiht an inanimate and static thing. But, I want you to be dynamic and share your feelings with me too, just as I do with you. Any friendship should be a two-way system, where the traffic is not obstructed by any stop lights. Inhibitions, formalities and insecurities destroy the spirit of friendship. So, I am gonna try and see you as a living entity...as a human being. So, where do I start? I should first give you a name. A man without identity is like a balloon without air. Only when the air is filled will it acquire the ability to fly high. Similarly, a man is recognised by his name and that is what differentiates him from other fellow human beings. Yes, I do have a great name for you. When I see you as my closest friend, the best name for you would be "BUDDY". By the power vested in me, as your owner ( After all, I paid for your ownership), I christen you, Five in one notebook, "BUDDY"...B...U...D...D...Y!!! Welcome to my world of problems, confusions, tensions and whatever negative is possible for a human being. I can assure you that it is not gonna be an easy ride together. So, do hold on tight!!!!

Smile....huh!!!

Smile....an interesting topic to write on. I am a keen observer of people. I do not necessarily analyze them, but I do note their facial expressions. Even at a very young age, I had this habit of putting myself in the place of the listener, when I was talking to someone. It was more like trying to watch myself talk. I used to analyze my body language and my facial expressions. Our face is actually like a transparent surface. Very few people can hide the actual emotions, underlying beneath the flesh and blood and deep inside your mind. You may hold back your tears, you may force a smile and you may try to look cheerful. But, I can assure you that 9 times out of 10, your eyes will betray you. But, the basic question is simple and straight! Why do you have to put on a show, when you can be just yourself and be true to your personality? I know that it would be very hard for me to smile when I am angry and in the same way, it would be very hard for me to enjoy a joke, when I am sad. Today, I saw someone smile at me. I have this very bad habit of making friends with everyone pretty soon. This particular individual impressed me fast, attitude-wise. I won't say I got attached a lot, but I definitely saw that person as a good friend. Well, change is inevitable I suppose or maybe the change was also a forced one due to many other factors. I am confused as I said before. Anyway, when I saw that person smile, I felt kinda sad because it looked more like a forced smile. A smile is believed to accentuate a person's beauty. It has to come from within. It should not be just a physical change in your face, but a mental change, with your mind swelling up with happiness and peace. Only then, will it become a smile...until, then it would be more of a smirk. I know that I cannot smile when I am hurt...I know that I cannot smile when I am angry...but, I know that I can make others smile when I am happy...because my happiness would reflect in my smile. Maybe the person who smiled at me today, did not find me worth being considering as a friend. I am hurt as usual. But, people change and world changes....I still stick to the principles that I believed. It is easier to just change your swimming style according to the flow and just drift... I guess the real challenge is to stick to the swimming style that you are master of and that you believe in and then swim against the flow to reach the destination. All those who smirk at me now, will then regret the chance lost to make a good friend. I am sure of that. Until then, smile on... but,the world has not lost all it's good!!!

I believe in myself now!!!!

Peace,

Arun

CET...not just three letters!!!

"Wake up,Son!",my mom was pulling the sheets that covered my body,protecting me from the morning chill.It was Monday and on account of the deep and peaceful sleep I had the previous night,I had somehow forgotten the enormity of the occasion.I was to be inducted into the CET community that day…a dream for a majority of plus2 students.This sounded more like a fairy tale beginning…didn’t it?.For a moment,the creative writer within me took over.But,today,I don’t want you to read my article….I want you to hear me talk to you.Written communication assumes great importance when it is presented in an oratory manner.I believe in that.People prefer listening to a person who speaks eloquently,displaying his emotions,than hear a person blankly reading out something.So,I will be trying to speak to each one of you,from this moment,in this article.

CET….the three letters which holds supreme importance in my life.It is really tough to actually convey the true feeling of having been a CETian. Even if I tried to do so,I wouldn’t be doing full justice to the effort and to the institution.It is indeed a feeling that has to be experienced.So,I will try to tell you what I have experienced in my 5 years of CET life. For an additional info…due to some personal reasons,I had to drop a year and study with my juniors…which explains the 5 years.But,I definitely don’t regret it…I actually see it in a positive way because I got a bit more time to know the college and to familiarize with a lot more people.I actually wanted to tell you 5 main things through this article.But,before that,I want you to hold my hand so that we can take a trip down memory lane together and experience CET the way it was in 1999.

When I got down from the city bus, before the college entrance, I could simply stare at amazement at the sight that met my eyes.I had to actually hold my father’s hands to get a grip on my senses.Here I was,standing on the pedestal of one of the premier institutions in the state,about to become a part of it and the thought itself made me nervous.New campus, new classmates, new books, new clothes….everything was new and refreshing. I am purposefully not going into the details of the admission process,simply because it doesn’t have much of a value as far as this article goes.I was shown my classroom and I settled down to start my life as a CETian.Just keep in mind that this article is not like one of those dragging family dramas that you find in a television set. Keeping aloof from too much of a detailed rendering,I will be concentrating on the finer and exciting moments of my life at CET.

Anwyay,all was not well with my life at CET,as I had hoped.Just as we were beginning to enjoy college life,there entered a terrifying group of guys,we called seniors,with their favourite hobby,ragging.I know that the freshers these days may find it hard to believe,but trust me guys when I say that it was total hell for the first two or three months.I was instructed to look down into the ground while walking,for the first two weeks,while I was inside the campus.There were numerous other instances too,which I secretly enjoyed. It was then that I relaised that there were certain names inside the campus,the bearers of which were not mere individuals,but legends by themselves.It was more like listening to the exploits of a historic figure,that I listened with awe about the daring things these guys have done.Their legend indeed preceded them.I don’t know how many of you guys have heard about the names Valve tube,Pathiri,Mattom,Bond etc.I fortunately got the good fortune to become friendly with all these so called legends.It sometimes pays to be modest and humble before seniors.When you give respect,you get respect automatically.I can guarantee you ,that going by my experience.I too had a wish that when I left college,my juniors know me by my nickname.

I have experienced almost every aspect of life from CET.When I say every aspect,I am mentioning about both the good and bad aspects of life.Remember one thing Guys….life is never gonna be a bed of roses.Each and everyone of you is gonna be thrown head-first violently,into the unforgiving and tumultuous circle of life.It is better to be prepared right from your college days,than to find the going tough later.Working in an MNC myself,I know what life is gonna throw at you.Right from my school days,I used to believe in a one-liner.It was kind of a motto for me.It went,"Live for the moment!!!".Live your life to the fullest because you never know what tomorrow may hold for you.Now,let’s get on to the issues I wanted to talk to you about.

Right from the time I joined CET,I have been reminded of the CET spirit by my seniors.Let me tell you a specific incident.I went to attend Hotch Potch,one week after joining CET.There,I saw my super seniors cheering on our college.I was reluctant to join them,as I was a junior and some of them had even ragged me on my first week of CET life.Then,accidentally,one guy came upto me and asked me which college I was representing.When I answered CET,he asked me why I was standing aloof and told me to join the CET gang immediately.One of the guys in the group was none other than Arun Kumar.G,who had been our Arts Club Secretary and whom most guys fondly know as "Swamy".It was then that I realized that beyond the boundaries of the campus,the lines drawn between seniors and juniors were gone and that everyone was united under a much more stronger banner,CETians.I was always amazed to see the way Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhuapthi bumped their chests during their matches.It displayed a lot of intensity and spirit…the spirit of being an Indian.I wouldn’t say that you should start bumping your chests when you see another CETian…but,you should definitely imbibe the spirit of being a CETian.Be proud of it and stand up for it.Never be afraid or shy to state before anyone that you are a CETian.Even when I say these words,the passion builds up within me.I am proud of being a CETian.Remember one of our cheering lines.."Sabse aage ladke kaun???....CET,CET!!!"

Attitude plays an important part in an individual’s life.It acquires greater significance when you enter into a responsible job.Sadly,I have been noting that the charismatic attitude and magnetic personality,once a hallmark of a CETian,is slowly becoming a thing of the past.It is indeed shocking to know that many guys view CET just as a platform to push forward their careers.I know that it sure helps in that aspect with campus interviews and all.But,CET is to be viewed as a much more stronger foundation….a foundation for moulding your character.It is high time you understood that education is not just about getting a highly paid job.When you study in an institution,particularly one like CET,education as a term should have a broader meaning.Through education,you should be able to develop your character,recognize your talents,realize your energy and make a better individual out of yourself.So,when you join CET,your thoughts should definitely not be just about CGPU and your dream company or maybe even CAT or GATE.They are all important in their own way,but those are definitely not the only things that should count in your college life.Life just has a forward button.At no point of time,can you press a rewind button.Youth comes only once.The main advantage of being young is that you are full of energy and full of ideas.You don’t have to harness your thoughts and actions,simply because you don’t have too many responsibilities.Use your energy for creative purposes.I never regretted cutting a class or two to have a snack with my friends;I won’t regret working in the political campaign during college elections and delivering speeches in classes;I definitely don’t regret working in the organizing committee of four Dhwanis.These things have helped me in a variety of ways.Experiences count a lot in your life and I am where I am because of whatever I have experienced during my college life.You can easily live through each day monotonously following the same routine.It would be like watching a black and white movie.Friends,why don’t you add some colour to it?.Try to get involved in all college activites and make it a point to even cast your vote during college elections.Being a part of college activities boost up your resume in a big way..believe me!!!Refraining from being part of all these things may give you a comfortable nap in your bed till noon,but it is robbing you of a lot of other things.It robs you of an opportunity to work in a team;It robs you of an opportunity to express your ideas;It robs you of an opportunity to meet new people;It robs you of an opportunity to exercise your right!!!These experiences help a lot when you set foot on a professional job environment.I see my seniors at the company repenting about having wasted their college days ,buried in their books and not participating in anything.Remember that these are guys earning 5 digit salaries in a top MNC,leading settled married lives.They want to be young again.What I want to tell you is that..don’t ever put yourself in their predicament!!!

Now,let’s speak about a sensitive part of your college life.I am speaking about relations.These days,people are so busy that they don’t even have time for ten minutes of friendly chat.Let me list some names here first.Anupama Sundar,Asha.P.George,Shreejit Nair,Ajay Prasad,Anu Ann,Manoj R.,Deepa Padmanabhan,Betty and the list continues.Now,these may appear as just names for you.But,when I look at them,I see them as integral parts of my life.Each one of them have stood by me,one time or the other,when I needed them.Make some really good friends while you are in college.You are not going to make too many close friends in a corporate setup anyway.Be very open in your friendship and don’t let ego come in the way of a good relation.I have seen so many good friendships broken because of that one factor.You have to be true to yourself first and then true to the other person,in every relation.Moreover,I see a lot of love affairs happening during college life.Loving a girl or boy is easy,but maintaining the commitment and assuming responsibility is difficult.So,don’t just have an affair because you see it as a privilege to boast before your friends that you have a boyfriend or girlfriend.Put a lot of thought before committing yourself.Love is not a game.You can’t call a time-out or retire in the middle of it!!!I had suffered by not being able to convince myself that I loved a girl in our college.So,from personal experience,I want to tell you to be truthful to yourself!!!

It is indeed sad to note that most people don’t bother to keep in touch once they leave college.They write colourful promises in autographs about how they will be there for each other and even promise in person at times.Unfortunately,as it is said,promises are meant to be broken it seems.Other than some close friends,no one really bothers to keep in touch.During the days immediately after leaving college,an e-group is created and everyone makes solid promises about mailing regularly.I tell you that in two years time,you will get a notice from yahoo saying that they are closing the group due to inactivity.I want to advise you not to be like that.Come up with some real good plans to keep in touch.Make sure that you bring out an address book with everyone’s photos.Inform each and everyone a change in address,when it happens.Try to organize occasional meetings.Hey…you never forget a doctor who attended to your wound for 10 minutes and reduced your pain.Then,how can you forget your classmate who was there beside you for 4 long years,sharing your happiness and sadness???.Just think about it!!!

The last and the most important thing of all is remembering your alma-mater.The institution which made you what you are.It gave you an identity of your own.I have seen lots of guys stating that they are CETians with a lot of pride…even with a bit of arrogance.So,CET definitely has a value.You owe a lot to the institution and the faculty.We may have had bitter experiences with teachers,but still they are what they are and they reached that position because they deserved to.Even when you try to blame a teacher’s shortcomings,have you ever thought about stopping into his or her shoes???I can assure you that it is one of the most challenging tasks in the world,when it comes to handling a class.I have experienced that first-hand.So,do give due respect to your teachers,even while maintaining your individuality.Tomorrow,when you get a job and venture out into the treacherous and thankless world of responsibilities,I would like you to find some time and think seriously about doing something for our second mother,our college.My batch is already thinking of instituting something like a scholarship for a student.Do start thinking about something now itself,so that when you move out of college,you will be sure of what to do.Remember ,the college and faculty were there for you when you were a student…so,it is your moral responsibility to be there for them as an alumna.

Hey…I have to get ready to go to the company now.Work calls!!! Hope you will give serious thought to whatever I have told you as a senior,as a friend,as a brother…more importantly,as a past CETian.By the way,I did succeed in getting myself known by my nickname.CETians don’t know me as ARUN.K……they better know me as "KARU"!!!!

Love & Peace,

AK

Alamy Anthem

On the fringes of the city
Starting out on the go
There is a building, there is a floor
There is Alamy on the fore
Where we met, where we are
This is where we belong
Where we belong

Walk in, the door is open
Put your sign, take out the pen
Swipe the card, the day is new
The stylish girl is smiling at you

A for Attitude

Hold your head high, walking on and on
Spirit of the mind, confidence adorn
Fear for nothing, trying anything
A sense of life, linking everything

Sense of life….linking everything!!!

L for Life

Smiles so wide, faces happy and lit
Full of life, watch everyone sit
Active are we, never ever down
We live our lives, without a frown

Let me hear you say…Without a frown!!!

Say with me…We’re never ever down!!!

A for Alamy

An office here, in the IT park
It's pretty new, making it's mark
Name is Alamy, that's the place
Say with pride on your face

MY for Me & You

All for one, one for all
Friends forever, given the call
I'll be there, just for you
Remember this, it's me and you

 Me & You…

Alamy…. Alamy… Alamy….

Goodbye Cruel World!!!

Suicide as a word, means "The act or an instance of intentionally killing oneself." Death is a natural process and no human being can escape from it's grip. That is why we are called Mortals. But, when a person kills himself intensionally, we call that death by the unique name of "Suicide". Most suicides would have a suicide note associated with it. It is more like a parting statement from the individual, who wants the world to know why he did it. I too had such an instance in my life when I no longer wanted to live and I too had written a suicide note. There is an interesting website(http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/), which describes the reason for suicide. I was really impressed with their explanation and I feel any person who feels desperate and lonely in life and contemplating suicide should go through this site.

"Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain."

This is my suicide note:

"Life is a journey and now after each step I take, I look back and regret the place where I took the wrong turn. My life had been smooth and easy until then. How things changed with just that one wrong step. One step led to another and before I knew it, I had come a long way to even think about returning to the point of diversion, Now, all I see is darkness and evil around me. It used to be so pleasant and gratifying. At this point, I do feel that there is no point in living. After all, none of us are gonna live forever. If things could get better for a lot of others due to my absence, so be it!!!"

You know what is interesting...I still carry this note in my purse!!!

Love,

AK