The Shadow

Light plays havoc, with me, my self

Laying out, my dark side, on the ground

The black alter-ego looms large with time

Before disappearing silently, into the dark night

The silent observer, the passive friend

Lurking around me, marking my presence

Cooling the earth with my caricature

He outlines my figure, with a virtual ink

Born of light, drawn off my lanky frame

The earth is a canvas, for the art in monotone

Seldom appreciated, the artist hides among clouds

Seldom noticed, the art sprawls over mother earth

Convulsing and changing, with the passing time

Sans expression, sans emotions, he exists

Reminds me of my life, on a topsy-turvy ride

In a world, sans expression, sans emotions

With each passing day, he is becoming more of me

Or am I becoming more of him?

I pray to the source, “Let there be no light”

Let me feel myself, let me be myself!!!

For Retaliation...

Dullness all around, even the wind has a smirk,
Nothing but a graveyard, has been the place I work,
I killed my self and I bury myself each day
They still know not that they kill me every day!!!

Born on chance, lived on like a rock
Until now, when they take their chance to mock
Storm of rebukes, Oh! It weakens my soul
The lesser mortals, fulfill their petty role!!!

Purpose of life, the urge to live, seems to be lost,
Can’t take it, need to retrieve it at all cost
Isn’t it time yet for you, to stand up and fight back?
Asks my soul, don’t you see me getting a crack?

Confused, delirious, my mind wanders,
To unknown lands, my thought meanders,
Lonely and angry, my being pushes on
Is it for this plight, that me, the human, was born?

Enough of this, my soul rises to stand tall
No more of this, I am not going to fall
Time to open my eyes, face the world
The flag of retaliation, has finally been unfurled!

Dark Knight

A small intro for the unfortunate readers, who get a chance to view my dark side. These 16 lines slashed down below, were penned down in 4 sets during a casual online conversation with my good friend, Sonu Sudhakaran. He wanted me to call it Black Poetry...but, the term is used for African American poetry. So, I am gonna give this one to be added to the annals of Dark Poetry!!! Let this one be splashed across the chaotic pages of dark poetry!!!

Life starts in wombs, in darkness
Grows up, in slow steps, with firmness,
Words of thought, in all grimness,
Makes me shout out loud, in all frankness!!!


The Devil comes out from the bowels of hell,
Night awakens with the ringing of the eternal bell,
Mere mortals, by my sword, along the way fell,
When I chose earth to be my place to dwell!!!

Knighted by the blinding light,
On a ghostly and dark night,
On a crusade to kill with might,
Giving none, a chance to fight!!!

Walking along the lines of fire,
At this moment, I vow, never to tire,
I will prepare my foe's funeral pyre
For this world is gonna be my mire!!!

Phoenix has risen from the ashes!!!

The keys on my keyboard have not worn out!!! My fingers have not lost their sensory powers!!! My brain certainly has not succumbed to an eternal coma!!! So, then what was the reason for the absence? Interesting question! But, even I am searching for the answer. For me, I am a person who takes pride in my writing and believes that it makes complete. My thoughts are my best friends and my writings, my way of expressing myself. If I chose to put them aside for sometime, it should imply that I had forsaken myself for a while. The Phoenix did not die, it was murdered by the hypocritic society and the hollowness of human relations. Well, death is only for a moment. When the breath runs out and you feel life being drained from you, when the heart stops breathing and you become motionless, you are pronounced to be dead. But, the soul still lives. I believe in the eternal nature of the human soul.

Now, you might be wondering why I am speaking about the immortal soul? To speak about a mighty tree, it is important to speak about the soil, as the roots which hold the tree depend on it . Anyway, there is signifance to the statements that came earlier and it was a prelude to what I was about to deliver. In a death, the physical state dies and the spiritual state is liberated. For me, it has been a converse process for some time. The physical state was active, while the spiritual state was dead. It was a self induced coma, that kept me relaxed and in a dormant state. The time has come for the phoenix to rise from the ashes. Yes, I am back with my limitless deliverances of the innermost thoughts of my chaotic and confused mind.

WHEN THE WORLD BECOMES HELL, I NEED TO BE THE DEVIL TO TAKE CONTROL OF IT!!! HELL HAS OPENED ITS GATES!!! BEWARE MORTALS!!!!

The Stranger

A thing of beauty is a joy forever. When Keats made this statement, he must have had a beautiful woman in sight because few sights can match the beauty of a lady's smile. The observing skill of Keats was justified by her charm and she was indeed a sight to behold. Bonita was her name and her presence brought out longing sighs, from young and old alike. The shining diamond studded wedding ring and the conservative Indian attire covered up the wild side in her. For the normal breathing blobs of human flesh, she was just a stylish cat, all cuddly and cute. But, deep down in her mind, she understood her true self and the fierce tigress she really was, but tranquilized by social constraints. It had always been a self conflict – her against her – to be the ideal wife catering to the family needs and adhering to the social norms or to be the real woman, doing full justice to her conscience. It was a fight where she did not want to win or lose. She preferred to call it a draw. At the end of the ordeal, she decided to adorn the virtual garment of the social woman and submitted to her destiny in the form of marriage.

"What is the reason behind my existence? Am I alive?" thought Bonita. The lecherous look in the eyes of the strangers in the crowd was not really intruding into her thoughts. They resembled a pack of hungry wolves checking out their prey. Given a chance, they would have shed their moral values and social constraints and become animals to devour her blood. A flood of sympathy washed over her mind, as she felt that the eyes of lust might be so due to their incomplete married lives. She decided to do them a small favor and flashed one of her most charming smiles. Apart from that single gesture, she was feeling totally uncomfortable. Alex, her husband was nowhere to be seen and her eyes searched for him between the largest collection of strangers she had seen in a while. She spotted him cracking jokes with his friends, totally oblivious to his wife's mental trauma. He was proud to have such a beautiful wife and did not really mind people admiring her charms. Bonita cursed the moment she decided to tag along with him for the event.

Having time at her mercy and little else to do, she took a path down memory lane. She could see her younger self, totally in love with this handsome and daring young man, who was her husband now. The wild and carefree nature had bowled her over in their first acquaintance. She could meekly nod her head in approval, when he went on his knees and proposed to her. Time flew by and gradually, she realized that the wild side was just a mask he chose to wear to gain acceptance in an exclusive college gang. Tampering with the age old saying, he was more or less, a sheep in wolf's clothing. Marriage to him was virtually the final nail on the coffin of her true self and the tigress was laid to rest. At times, she blamed her naivety during her college days, as she failed to see through Alex's mask. "Ladies and gentlemen….." The host's voice boomed over the microphone and pushed her back into the harsh reality of her present.

Whispers floated around her as her husbands colleagues walked past her. "Alex's wife is really beautiful. He is a lucky guy!" She could make out bits and pieces of such comments and it did not really help in her situation. It seemed like a majority of the guys in the crowd preferred to walk past her to get one thing or the other, even if there were shorter routes available. She longed for a real man to show up and strike a conversation with her. Personal silence in a chaotic environment can be nerve wrecking. Bonita was so immersed in her dream world that she did not realize the appearance of a well built individual in front of her. "Hi!" the strong voice made her jump in her seat. She looked up to face the source of the voice that had disturbed her thoughts. "You must be Bonita, Alex's wife. I am Aditya, Alex's team mate." For a moment, Bonita was contemplating the reality aspect to the situation. A few moments ago, she had sincerely hoped in her mind that someone would turn up to make her evening interesting and Aditya suddenly appeared like Prince Charming for her. Bonita's eyes scanned the handsome and energetic intruder from head to toe. She felt that he did justice to the most talked about male requirement sought by a female….he was tall, dark and handsome. He was blessed with one of the most charming smiles she had seen on a masculine face. "Not bad!" exclaimed Bonita in her mind.

Aditya had pulled up a chair and seated himself in front of her in the meantime. "Black signifies death and you could be a serial killer because you can kill someone with your charms draped in this elegant black saree. Can I take the liberty of calling you the black bird?" asked Aditya. The frankness in his words and the freshness in his approach impressed Bonita. She could only nod her head with a smile on her lips. The conservative wife in her was beginning to enjoy the advances of the young guy. Her wild instincts which had been dormant for some time now, had been given a rude awakening by the stranger. She stared into his twinkling eyes, which felt so peaceful and seemed to carry a myriad of emotions in them.   "Am I falling for this strange handsome guy?" she asked herself. Social ethics took a back seat, as the woman in her was aroused. Aditya was smooth in his conversation and was casting a spell on her with his masculine charm. Gradually, he moved closer to her during the course of the conversation and even placed his hand over hers. But, Bonita was in a world of her own to notice his advances and his voice had drifted off for her to make out the words. The party and the people had vanished into thin air and she just wanted to relish every moment spent in the physical proximity of this young man.

"Hi Adi! I see that you have met my wife." Alex's voice brought Bonita back to the real world. Suddenly, Alex was an intruder in her private moment with Aditya and she did not really appreciate it. However, she chose to remain quiet and Alex settled down on the table with the food. Bonita shifted her eyes to Aditya and his persistent and piercing gaze made her blush. She was reminded of a sentence she had read somewhere. "The soul that can speak through the eyes, can also kiss with a gaze".

"Time to dance my friends!!!" the voice of the DJ boomed over the speakers. The bright lights were switched off and the colorful and dim disco lights took their place. A few couples had moved onto the dance floor, which looked very inviting and exciting. Bonita could even see some of the couples get intimate on the dance floor, as the dim lights and the groovy music created a very romantic setting. She longed to be in the strong hands of Aditya and swing to the music. As if sensing her need, Aditya broke the ice and exclaimed "Alex, do you mind if I borrow your lovely wife for a dance? It is not everyday that I get to dance with a beautiful woman!" Alex was too busy with the food and nodded in approval. Moreover, Aditya was known as a perfect gentleman in the office and Alex felt at ease in allowing his wife to enjoy the party with him. Infact, Alex felt that he had to let her have a good time at the event. Husbands can be possessive but not obsessed with their partners that they don't allow them the space to have some time of their own.

Aditya stood up, went down on one knee and invited Bonita for the dance in a formal manner. The dim lights added to the effect and she was captivated by his sparkling eyes and the elegant demeanor. "Would you mind making my evening a memorable one by letting your beauty accompany me on the dance floor, my lady? If you do so, I will be honoured, Queen of the night!" Bonita was only happy to oblige this novel proposal and took his hand to proceed to the dance floor. Walking close to each other, his muscular shoulders rubbing against her skin was sending shivers down her body. The dance floor was set up a bit away from the dining area in order to avoid disturbing the gourmets.   She knew that Alex would not be able to see her without straining quite a bit. The wild woman in her fought hard with the puritan housewife and finally, the wife was knocked out cold. Bonita knew that it was now or maybe never and decided to enjoy this moment as long as it lasts. The moment they stepped into the dance floor, Aditya boldly put his hand around her waist and pulled her closer to him. She put her head on his chest and they floated across the dance floor in tandem with the flowing music. The men's perfume that he used, made him all the more desirable. It is said that women have a much stronger sense of smell than men and Bonita was really skilled with her olfactory powers. She opened her nostrils wide and took a strong whiff of the masculine scent. Minutes seemed like hours and she just longed to be lost in his arms and dance onto eternity. She felt a sense of liberation and was feeling totally relaxed, after a pretty long time. Aditya was whispering sweet nothings in her ears and was slightly kissing her ear lobes.

"Thanks folks for your participation and we wish you a great time at the party! Enjoy!" the DJ announced the closure of the dance floor for the night. The disco lights were switched off for allowing the transition to the normal lighting. As Bonita strained her eyes to get accustomed to the pitch darkness, she felt Aditya's strong hands pulling her closer to him again. His fingers traced her lips in the dark and in a flash, the dry fingers were replaced with his wet lips. It happened so suddenly that she was surprised. But, the excitement was so overwhelming and she melted in this daring guy's arms and reciprocated with passion. The lights came back on and they had to separate unwillingly. Slowly, they returned to their seat, walking hand in hand, to join Alex. Bonita was blushing like a newly wed bride, but Alex was busy conversing with Aditya to notice it. Bonita took one of the napkins and jotted down in her characteristic handwriting, her mobile number on it.

"Hey sweety! I guess it is time for us to leave. Aditya, I will see you tomorrow in office., remarked Alex. Before they left, Bonita shook hands with Aditya and in the process, passed the folded napkin into his hands. As his hand accepted it, she noticed a naughty smile spread across his lips. As she walked back to their car with Alex, Bonita could not help turning back and have one final gaze at the stranger who made her feel like a woman after a long time. Aditya was expecting it and gave her a flying kiss, causing her to blush even more. As the car drove them back to their home, Bonita's mobile beeped, indicating the arrival of a new message in her inbox. The message was from an unknown number and said, "Check your handbag!" She understood it was from Aditya and hurriedly opened her handbag. Inside the handbag, was a neatly folded napkin. She opened it with trembling hands and read the message. "Call me, my black bird @ 9895…." She kept the napkin safely in her purse with a smile. Bonita realized that her life was going to change and that it was just one of the many meetings that she was about to have with this handsome stranger. Well, he was no longer a stranger!!! 

A Pen for Chaos...

Wandering expressions, sitting in a curve
Open ears, struggling to hear the voice
Stressed, confused, my pen goes on a journey
Without direction, on the white road of paper

The thin cylinder with colored fluid
Scribbling on, chaos in words
Thoughts wander off, somewhere
Where it is me, with myself

A world created from dreams
Reality? A strange term to me
Written words become friends
The pen becomes my accomplice

Is it a crime? Is it a mistake?
That I finally chose to be alone!!!

The face of the girl I love

Time flies on like a galloping horse,
But,your face holds still with a force.
The moment I saw your face,I was lost,
In dreary thoughts,in fairy lands,in dreamy coasts.

Your eyes,like two precious gems,shone bright,
Like water droplets twinkling in misty morning light.
They spoke much more than your lips,
A small stare enough to cause heart slips.
Thoughts conveyed in a torrent through them,
Speech loses meaning in front of the gem.
I beg the eyelids;"Do not shut on those eyes!",
Denying me the sight of something so nice.

Your ears,the faithful listeners,adorn your face,
Hiding amidst your hair,when people gaze.
Serving you well,letting you know,
What people say,may it be friend or foe.
They peep out from amidst her hair,
When the wind claims,of your face,their share.
The two question marks on your pretty head,
Adds to your beauty,when your shyness makes it red.

Your nose,like a hanging fruit,reaches down,
Almost touching the lips, when you frown.
Seperating the eyes does it stand,
Like a faithful sentry on a stern command.
Turning to a bright red,when you are angry or shy,
Taking your beauty to an all new high.
Your smile makes it more cute,
The slender form making me mute.

Your lips,the epitome of beauty and charm,
The mere sight,makes a heart warm.
A blooming red rose do they remind,
The fullness of the lips strike my mind.
When you smile,they play their part,
The sensous look,captivating my heart.
It seems like they yearn for a kiss,
It is something I am not gonna miss.

Should God appear before me,granting me a wish,
No thoughts,the answer will be in one swish.
A girl I do love,ever so fine,
I ask you this,can she be mine???