A mother for all ages...a woman of strength

Its been a very intense day, with Facebook timelines and whatsapp statuses of my friends and dear ones, filled with wishes for their mothers and other random mother’s day messages. I have never really thought much about mother’s day or such specific days as such. Birthdays always were important and to an extent days like Wedding anniversaries of some people including my parents and brother’s. But, in the situation that we find ourselves in, I feel that it is indeed good to celebrate this day wherein we celebrate that one woman who makes all the difference in a family. The mother!

I woke up in the morning and checked my Facebook and Whatsapp as is the norm these days in the digital and social media era. My facebook timeline had a tagged post from my brother, as he took the time (which is ahead of our time, with him being in New Zealand) to upload a photo collage of our mother with both of us separately and a hearty Mother’s day wish to go with it. Initially, I did not think too much of it but when I saw how happy she was seeing it and the likes and comments that came with it, just made her day I guess. Yes, she is a Facebook savvy mother and is constantly checking her timeline and other FB posts. So, I wanted to post something too. The thought just kept churning in my head for the past 12 hours and the after the lengthy procrastination, I decided to write about what I know of her and what she means to me.

Let’s talk about memories. To be honest, I do not have too much of memories residing inside my head of my childhood, probably because of all the medication that I have had for the best part of my life. I don’t know if it is a good thing or a bad thing because I have only flashes of what amma (mother) was to me when I was a kid. Almost everything that I know about her during those days has been from what I have heard from others and whatever I know of, from my childhood has been through the timeless stories of my exploits told by her in loop, whenever she could. Whatever I remember of my childhood has been mostly with brother and dad as Amma was working outside Trivandrum. She was a Botany teacher and was on transfer. One distinct memory or rather a reflection of her has been two poems that I can still recite. She supposedly used to sing them to as lullabies. The two poems, stanzas from which are still fresh in my mind, were “Mambazham” (first 4 lines clearly remembered, Not sure if she used to sing the whole poem) by Vyloppilli Sreedhara Menon and “Lokame yaathra” (a paragraph referring to Ceasar, Solomon and Homer clearly etched in memory. Again, not sure if she sang the whole poem as it seems to be a very long one) by Sister Mary Banenja. Having listened to a complex mix of emotional outburst and chivalrous references through my lullabies, I probably was not going to grow up as a very normal kid for sure :D.

Stories of her struggles in life have been heard so many times through self-remembrances by her during certain emotional moments and through sharing the experiences with others in conversations. But one thing I can say for sure that it never ceases to amaze and inspire me as to how a woman could single handedly fight the huge odds stacked against her and do whatever she has done in more than 70 years of her life. I will try and share a few stories which have really stuck to my heart till now. One story that I have heard a lot and which keep making me wonder as to how life has rewarded her for her hard work and persistence.  Amma wanted to see new places as a kid and when her school was going on a one day trip to Peechi, Trichur, she was anxious to go. But, the amount of 3Rs for the tour was literally impossible for her financially struggling family to bear. Interestingly, even in a period of casteism, her friends were from higher caste and affluent families. She keeps remembering how one of her friends paid the money and she went for the tour. The highlight of the story is when she says how she was lucky enough to be in a job years from that time, wherein she was able to go on plant collections and college tours as a botany lecturer absolutely free of cost. There is a very strong tale of rigorous hard work and fierce determination that brought her to the coveted post of being the lecturer in University College. In a period with no internet, she used to spend hours after college hours in the library studying during her post-graduation days. If that was hard work, her family life that happened was no less of an adventure in itself. Both me and my brother struggled with physical issues as kids and with an age difference of 8 years, she seldom got much respite for a period of almost 15 years attending to our health issues.

Like I said, I do not remember too much what she has done for me due to my mind which is completely messed up inside but I can easily understand what it must have felt to handle what she has managed for a whole 15 years or more with respect to our medical emergencies. I remember a story of how I had a medical situation one day and amma and achan rushed to the government hospital (our family was not in a financial position to afford private hospitals at that time) and how the staff refused to open the doors first as it was past the admission time and then refused to give a bed as there was none available. It seems that she literally argued with the nurses strongly so that I will not have to lie on the ground with a high fever. During those numerous days of high fever, she would call me up from my sleep so that I can have my medicines on a 4 hour interval and rubbed me with a wet cloth to bring my temperature down. All this is being done even when she has to get up early morning, prepare food for all of us and leave for college before 8. She used to walk to University College from Bakery Junction to save on money. Even with all my medical issues, I was nowhere near to being an obedient and silent kid. My mom’s friends still speak about the naughty boy always up to something. I used to get thrashed violently by dad for all my creative mischiefs and amma was literally my first line of defence. She always used to jump in between achan and me to try and save me from being flogged brutally. Not that I did not deserve to be given a beating for all that I did, but imagine when you literally walked out of home as a primary school kid unable to take the beating anymore. That is how bad it was and even though achan made up for it later when he calmed down, amma was always there to try and protect me. Protection was mutual also. Another of amma’s stories involving me is about how I literally behaved like her bodyguard when I was a kid. She says that I used to walk observing everybody around and would stare back at people looking at amma and ask her why somebody is looking at her. Unfortunately, she also had to be at the receiving end for my anger at times. My anger was not very conscious most of the times as my nerves were literally all over the place sometimes and I guess my friends would say that it hasn’t changed much even now lol. Anyway, she has had to put up with all that I did in fits of anger but it is a testament to her love for her kids and how she understood why I behaved the way I did, that she calmed me down and made something for me to eat at the end of the ordeal. Oh yes, she makes the best food of all. I am sure most of my friends would vouch for it too. So many of my friends were fortunate to have food, from her hands. There is always a lot of love in her cooking.  Her cooking expertise is phenomenal but not in terms of sheer quality of food but for the way she manages the time in kitchen and prepares well before she has to get on with her life as a teacher. I remember that our house always had people staying over. This was more so because Trivandrum had the only airport back then. Since, we were from Trichur which had a large number of people working in the Middle East; we always had guests who came to board the plane from Trivandrum. The interesting part is that they came with their relatives almost all the time as it was an opportunity for them to see the capital city too. Amma used to get quite early by 4am or so and make food for all of them which included lunch too and then left for college on time. The evenings were equally busy with cooking and through all this; she had to prepare for her classes the next day, after everyone retires for the night. I can literally understand the pressure she must have been in when I think about it now. As I said, I was not an exactly easy kid to manage too. I used to get pissed off because the only bedroom will be occupied by the guests I have even had to sleep on the ground near the main door sometimes. But, I don’t remember her complaining ever or showing a dejected look. Maybe she felt so in private but always careful to put up a smile in front of all of them. My first example of living for others and making sure that everybody around us smiled as much as possible even if it meant we cried inside, came from my mom and dad.

Even to this day, she still puts in an effort to reach out to her friends and others and tries her best to make sure that the two males in the house (me and achan) are fed satisfactorily daily. It is not like she was a woman who was denied her rights but she always put the happiness of her family before her own self. Now, she has been on insulin for more than 25 years and has a condition where her hands shake at times. She still loves to pour out tea or make food with those shaking hands. Most of our utensils at home have some sort of damage after having fallen from her hands. But, I guess it is a rather small price to pay for the tenacity she has shown all these years to make sure that her family is happy. My brother has been abroad for more than 15 years now and my nephew is a teenager. It is quite interesting to note that we have video calls once or twice in a day on a daily basis and I am sure she is quite proud of the fact that both her sons share an excellent rapport where there is absolute transparency and pure love for their parents. Even now, when my brother starts yawning during a video call (he is 47 lol), amma becomes anxious and asks him to go and sleep. For her, we are still kids and always tells me to order something for myself during this lockdown. Technically, I might not have been the ideal son, but I try to do whatever I can in the best possible manner for this woman who taught me one too many things about life.

To start with, I think my whole persona of being comfortable with women and respecting them, started with amma's interactions with me. I don’t remember what she told me or how she did it but I grew up to be a man who has never raised his voice or hand against a woman till date. I do get angry but somehow I always think about amma when I am about to lose my cool to any woman. She has been a person who has always tried to be content with what she has. For all that she has been through; she has never really demanded anything for herself. I am pretty sure that would happily sacrifice her meal to ensure that her kids are fed well. I think it has happened during our younger days too, at least during the time of my brother when there was a huge influx of resident guests at home. At this point, I do not really know if I have ever been able to tell her how much she has influenced me as a person and inspired me as a teacher. Today, when I go out to teach soft skills or photography, I keep her in mind as my guru. I have been fortunate to see her taking classes as she used to take me with her to college during my holidays. A dedicated teacher she was and I am sure her colleagues and students who read this will second me on that. As a botany teacher, she still feels amazed when she sees a flower or plant and constantly tries to find the name of a plant if she has forgotten it somehow. There is the famous story of her which we keep bringing up. When my brother sent a photo of my nephew from New Zealand, amma took one look at the picture and exclaimed in full excitement, “Begonia”. Well, my nephew was standing in front of a huge garden of Begonias and amma literally did not see him first. That is her love for plants even to this day. She keeps referring to the plants at my home like her own family and feels sad when they are withering in the heat. Irrespective of how tired she is, she drags the hose and waters the plants on a daily basis and is quick to notice any changes in them too. We even have a joke about her fascination with plants. It is said that if you ask amma the direction to somebody’s house, she is probably going to mention it by giving the scientific name of a plant that grows in the compound. So, it will be like, “The house which has the asparagus growing along the walls” or something like that. Well, the person who asked would have to identify the plant first. Now, I guess she invented such challenges even before facebook did lol

I guess I wrote quite a lot. As a writer, I think my writing might not be perfect because I just kept writing without really looking into the structure or grammar in the content. Well, this is what came from my mind in a flow and editing them would be like shaping the trunk of a tree. This is natural and written as it came to me. Amma, I would like to add that I was never an expressive kid as brother. I know he always used to lie on your lap or be very attached to you on many level. But you have seen me all these 38 years and this is what I have always been. But that does not mean, I have any less love or respect for you than he has. Infact, I find myself imbibing a lot of your qualities including the love for seeing new places and respect and admiration for nature and a passion for teaching. I know that you and achan could have decided against having me after such a long gap since chaettans birth. You took the chance and was presented with one of the most toughest project you might have ever handled in life. Thank you for making me what I am today. I have never believed that success is in money or position but if I have reached some position of dignity in your mind, I feel myself as a successful person. I would not want to replace you as mother in any other birth too (even though you keep saying that you do not want to be born again). I probably could never say this in person but I owe a lot to you as a person, as a woman and as a mother. You are the best mother I could have asked for and thanks a lot for putting up with all through these years. I apologise that I probably did not reach up to the level I could have but I am happy with where I am. It is true that I could not complete that one dream of you in seeing me get married. I am not sure if I can fulfill that this life time. But hopefully, someday soon, someone will come along and accept this misfit of your son into her life. Afterall, I hope the woman can see the goodness in a man raised by a fine example of womanhood. Thank you for being my mother.

Love, Kochumon

A day to start and A day to remember...

It is almost 11:30. Argentina is all set to face Croatia in their second group match of this World Cup. I can hear the commentators speaking excitedly downstairs as the national anthems start amidst the thunderous noises of the stadium. Yes, I do want to go and watch the match but a promise made primarily to myself is important too. I have not written much in months and had vowed to myself that I will start penning down the barrage of thoughts that flood my mind. It never ceases and the arduous task is to filter what needs to channelled down to all you to devour.

Topics are many and thoughts are wayward. It might take some time to get a definite direction and purpose and to write in my most natural style. Even gold loses its lustre over time and the polishing could take a short while for me to shine again. I am not going to let my hands rest from now on and let me try and build a long and sustaining relationship with my string of words.

Few days could be better than today to start off. It is indeed the perfect day to start doing what has always made me feel happy and liberated. Today is a day to remember each year in my life because my first friend in life celebrates her birthday today. The years have probably made us drift too far apart but I had the first taste of a proper friendship through her. 19 days from the day I was born, Smitha Gabriel followed suit. I don't know if it is destiny or sheer coincidence that we met as young toddlers. No two tiny tots could be so different like we were. We may not have been exact opposites but she was probably the epitome of the good kid while I was the mischievous one who was always up to something or the other.

For those who are not aware of my family background, my mom (Amma as she will be addressed from here on) was a Botany professor and I was lucky enough to have had interactions with and pampered by a lot of distinguished academicians of the time. Valsa Aunty was one such teacher and a close friend of my mom. There was an immense sense of homeliness and calmness about most friends of Amma, and Aunty was no different. As if it was meant to be so, she became the mother of my first and real close friend in life, Smitha Gabriel. There is a reason why I am saying her full name, which you will come to know soon.

Over the years, a lot of people have said that even though I exhibit a very rough and tough exterior appearance, I probably possess a lot of feminine qualities including an extremely emotional mind. I guess it has got to do more with the fact that most of my initial interactions of friendship was with girls and primarily with Smitha. I have faint memories of me playing Doll house with her and her patiently putting up with my whims and fancies as I always wanted to be in control whichever game we were playing. Over a rather long period of more than 30 years and a timeline which makes you start feeling really old when you look at it now, my memory has hazed down a lot mainly due to a lot of medication I have had and maybe partly due to the fact that I probably told myself not to cram my mind with a lot of memories. My mind needed to be free and accommodating for all the weird and intense thoughts which keep creeping up on a very consistent basis.

Coming back to the significance of my friend's full name, it is a story happily shared by my amma with almost everyone who has some sort of connection to Valsa Aunty or as part of a spicy subplot while she lays out all the intricacies of my personality as a small kid. As the story goes, I swear to you that if you asked me my name 30 years back, the answer would be Arun K, without being aware of what K stood for. Maybe I did not find it significant to know the expansion of K or maybe I felt that my name was just Arun K. Like I mentioned before, at this point of time, I really do not know the reason for that ignorance with respect to my name.

It was the first day of our LKG class and being the best of friends, I never had anything to do with anybody else when Smitha was around. Amma says we used to sit right next to each other all the time. As with the start of each academic year, the class teacher was asking the names of the students. This was not just a mere academic year but the start of our educational journey. I do not know if I remember this correctly but I think most people had full names like Anish Joseph, Thomas Cris Sarasam and so on. The names felt so defined and complete. Suddenly my name felt a bit short and missing something. K just did not cut it for me. The teacher had reached Smitha by then and she proudly stood up and said, "Smitha Gabriel". I did not know what to do but I knew I did not want to feel incomplete by any means with my name. So, when I was asked, I had no hesitation in blurting out with a smile - "Arun Gabriel". Did the whole class laugh along with the teacher? I do not remember so well but I felt quite like an accomplished person.

I could not wait to get back home as the next challenge was to learn to write it. Until that point of time, I was content with learning to write Arun K. But the K has now made way for Gabriel and I could not see myself inadequate in writing it out properly. So, I rushed back home and asked my mom for the spelling of GABRIEL. Amma probably was busy with something and did not ask about it much as she spelled it out. She probably thought that I was trying to learn and write my best friend's name. The closing act of this whole eventful circumstance was when Aunty called up amma and asked. Aunty's question was very simple - "Edo, did you know I have a new son now?". Amma was a bit surprised and confused apparently. Aunty had a big laugh and said, "Arun Gabriel". She then went on to share the whole story which was narrated to her by my close buddy and both the mothers had a hearty laugh.

The significant aspect of this story is that most of my amma's friends from her teaching days during that time still address me as Arun Gabriel when they ask about me and the name has stuck. So, when I decided to crush my writers' block and start writing again, I decided to find inspiration on a day when my first best friend life came into this world. Smitha has turned a year older and as it is not fair to ask or share a woman's age, let me just say that she is more about the person than her physical being. Even now, I know that if I call her, I would probably still feel the same warmth and a smile will most probably be beaming across both our faces even though we haven't spoken a word in years.

Happy birthday dear and hope the memories of you that has transcended itself on to this post motivate me to write more. May you live long with perfect health and happiness. This is a start and what better day to start but the day my first best friend was born. It might be a few minutes past the day as it is already past 12am but then the wall that I had against writing was too thick and wide and I had to claw and punch and explode my way through. I think the stage has been set hopefully for more. 

Me, Myself and I

Each person is not really an individual but a collection of individuals. Even as we speak of individuality and uniqueness, it is infact an amalgamation of entities that mould us into a form of social existence. All human beings are nothing but fusions of elements created from social presence and individual analysis. In layman's terms, we are probably a combination of answers to four questions namely, What I think I am, What people around me think I am, What I think people around me think I am and What I really am?.

What I think I am?

Thoughts in general are always guided by personal experiences and social exposure. Each one of us is moulded into a state of conviction of our own self by the social consciousness and the upbringing. I can play around with words and leave you in total confusion but that is not the purpose here. The words were just a prelude to exposing myself the way I think I am. I don't see myself as an angel because even angels have their own hidden agendas, whether it is based on faith or based on karma. I don't see myself as a devil too because I dont have a full time job adorning the horns. I am more of a mix of both I believe. I feel I am a product of scars given out by emotional, physical and mental experiences over the years. I am what I call myself sometimes - A Maverick. A standard does not work for me and I am the one who probably searches for the road not taken and finds excitement in clearing a path for myself. I may not be too calculated in my interactions with people nor too cautious in my reactions. I am just a guy who realises the brevity of my life and tries to be spontaneous in situations and be happy with everything.

What people around me think I am?

I have always had people use different words to define me and feel it convenient to brand me in a way which suits their moods and existence. I do believe that most people see me as a temporary relief in different forms as a friend, as a lover and as a resource most of the time. One of my ex-gf used to called me the DEVIL'S ANGEL, as she felt that I was an angel with a devilish mind. It was a good thing because I felt that it was nice to be a known devil than an unknown angel. It got more interesting when a facebook friend wanted me to share my worries with her and when I did that she bluntly informed me that I wanted to be like Mother Theresa by letting the world know that I help people. As of today, she has blocked me in facebook and the only thing I had done was tell her openly about my insecurities about people and how I felt betrayed by some of them after I have helped them blindly.The last nail came in the form a close friend's teenage daughter tell me of my issues and how I was disturbing her mother without really understanding the dynamics I had with the lovely lady. Well, the kid ended up calling me WEIRD and left me scarred a lot. Weird was not a bad word for me but it was used to tell me that I was very wrong in my interaction with her mom while she did not have any clue of what had happened. I realised slowly that people conveniently brand others in whatever way that makes them feel comfortable or gratified or safe and it is more of a method of convincing oneself of their self. In short, I am more or less a branded person depending on person and circumstance and easily pointed at in any situation they choose to.

What I think people around me think I am?

I think people around me see me as a person comfortable to talk to and one who can be dropped off quite easily. They probably feel that I will never become a person who can be a threat or difficulty at any point in their life and one who can probably be exploited and manipulated depending on the situation. There have been numerous times when I have felt more or less like a resource who was made to feel as if there was no emotional aspect attached and my faithful allegiance was assured in everything to the extent they decided. In between all these exploitative and manipulative thought processes, I feel that I have been a source of inspiration to quite a few with my actions and decisions too. It felt happy to know there have been people who have been motivated by me and people who see me as a friend whom they can rely on without a second thought. It does feel great to get that kind of faith from friends. I think I am not really seen as a permanent fixture in anybody's life yet but more as a temporary filler which can be related to a clown in a birthday party. I provide amusement for a while and make life's party enjoyable and fun before I move on. I wish I was wrong in my conclusion in this aspect but I fear that I am wrong in my wish in this case.

What I really am?

I wish I knew the answer to this question. An answer which was complete and did not leave an iota of doubt in my mind. But sadly the sheer existence of life sometimes is a journey searching for the answer to this question. I wanted to be brutally honest with this and hope that I get it right in one go. I might be a physically active and horny person but I know how to respect and treat a woman with dignity. I might be a mentally aggressive and frustrated person but I know that calmness is infectious and maintain a relaxed body language. I might be a control freak and like to lead but I know that best output comes from team work and mutual respect and acceptance. I might be a sarcastic person but my sarcasm is limited to words but when it comes to true friendship, I dont even use words but just be there for people. I might be confused about myself but I am clear about the fact that I should not make other peoples lives uncomfortable.

I leave the question to you whether you agree with what I have stated but let me warn you that what you think of me might also be based on how I am with you based on my thoughts on what you think about me and so, it might not be the real me in the first place. Never judge a book by its cover and never judge a person by his behavior or words because they could merely be circumstantial and a reaction to an external stimuli not connected to you too. I know one thing for sure. I am what I am and I wont try to be someone else before anyone. There is none to impress and none to convince because I am sure of myself and if you can take me in like I am, we are in for a wonderful journey together.

A promise to wake up....I guess it is time

A promise is an assurance to someone's clarity over himself/herself. Promises can never be made with an unclear mind. I was clear that I had to be born again in the world of writing and though there might be stumbles and bruises along the literary path, I had to accept that I always loved to walk the path of words. It is a path of doubt and haziness but the clarity in my mind about these aspects makes me all the more determined today. So, let me guide you through my journey into the words of no meaning or words of craziness as you want to perceive them.

13th February 2014. A start. 10th October 2012. An end. The two dates are signficant as the present sparks a new journey while the past had shut itself off into darkness at that point. I dont know whether I was in hibernation or whether it was just a conscious choice to lay down my weapon of choice for a while. Maybe the war was not worth it at that point but today, I realise that the world needs a new warrior with a more equipped armory of words and thoughts. As I kneel down for the last time to say out a silent prayer before I unleash my verbal battle with the world of thoughts. Let's get it on.

Kannan, the silent livewire

The significance of a human being in a society is never ascertained by his race, color, social status or occupation. Sometimes, these parameters pale in comparison to the sheer impact made with the unassuming presence in a crowd. For some people, the sheer insignificance in a very visible crowd, can become the standout factor. There is one such individual on the set of the movie, "Up and Down : Mukalil Oraalundu".  He is short but certainly not just another face in the crowd. I am talking about Kannan, who works in the production team. If there is one person who is always seen in motion, it is this guy. Kannans actual name is Abhilash and even though he looks like a 15 year old, he is double that age. Hailing from Thiruvallom near Chitranjali studio, he had taken to the production area with movies just like many of his neighbours and friends. It is my privilege to hold a conversation with Kannan and bring to you a few pages from his life.

How did you enter into the movie industry?

It was never a planned path. A lot of people in this area have already been working in production and I guess I just followed in due course of time. It was never a pre planned decision. Now, I have been in this field for 9 years and never really looked back much.

How was your first experience in this industry, when you came in as a fresher?

As I said, it was not a definite choice for me. I had studied till SSLC and one fine day, came into the production team of a movie by accident. One of the production boys in that unit was absent for a day and I filled in for him on the location of an English movie shot exclusively for Cannes film festival. Since then, it has been 28 movies and I have enjoyed my time working in different sets and with different artistes and technicians.

Have you had any interesting experiences with any of the artistes?

Yes, I have had some interesting experiences. But the one I remember most was with our very own lalettan or Mohanlal. It was on the set of the movie HELLO. Lalettan had brought his latest baby, a beautiful Audi, to the set. It was shiny new and the dark tinted glasses gave a perfect reflection. I was never the vehicle and decided to set my hair looking at the reflection on the car window. Even as I started combing my hair by looking at the reflection on the window, I could hear lalettans assistants asking me to move away. I did not realize that he was inside the car, until he rolled down that window and looked at me. I practically ran off. Later, when I went to give him food at his home, he had smiled and pointed me to the mirror at his place suggesting me to use it next time. I am a big fan of him and cherish this experience I have had with him.

How has it been in the set of "Up and Down Mukalil Oraalundu"?

It has been a great experience. I have met some interesting people like in any set I have worked in. The artistes and technicians have generally been very friendly. It is true that work gets hectic sometimes, especially when the shoot extends into the night. But, then it is part of the bargain and I try to enjoy it.

What is your aim for the future?

I wanna be a production chief one day and make my name in the entertainment. It might be an insignificant job for most people without the glamour but still I am happy doing it.

Net worth of a network

Any sort of relationship forms the solid platform for an individual's personal as well as social evolution. Seldom has relationships been measured or friendships acknowledged in all senses than through the mass movement that is currently sweeping our country. Yes, Social networking has changed the way we communicate and revolutionized the way we relate to people. Orkut, Facebook, Ibibo, Twitter, Linkedin....the names are numerous and the rate of evolution is growing faster with each passing day. It is indeed an era of the internet revolution and social networking has become the brand icon for this revolution with its evident visibility.

Back in the days, a friendship always started with a "Hi" or "Hello", a gentle smile on the face and a hand shake with assurance. At certain junctures, a hug is an added element in the process. This was followed by regular meetings, hanging out at various cool spots catering to the tastes of the individuals and gradually accommodating each other. All this involved a clear involvement of our physical senses. Social networking changed the equation quite a bit. The physical senses were not important anymore nor was the individual behind a name. Handshakes were replaced by the finger shakes on the keyboard with rapid tapping matched probably by a tap dancer on the stage. The smile which took actual exertion of the muscles was now easy and effortless in two symbols on the keyboard ":" and ")". The self introductions which lay the platform for the friendship has now shrunk to three letters "asl". The age, sex and location of the person matters more than anything. It always puzzled me because neither of the three factors hold any value as we dont have any definite idea about the physical existence of the person. Well, I guess the cyber world sometimes bridges the gap between the "real" and "virtual" and helps us live out our fantasies. It is an easy wall to hide behind and still plot your story according to your wish. The perfect way to feel good about yourself. Yes, for me,socialnetworking has always been the perfect platform for an alter ego to satisfy your real ego.

Relationships in the social networks are more or less like bubbles floating around in the sky. The light shimmers through them creating a range of colors around them but all it takes it a simple poke to burst. I always wondered how people find it difficult to trust anybody in real life but find it easier to do it over a social network. Information about themselves, irrespective of whether it is fake or real, is shared and numerous sessions of chat without significance to any particular relevant topic happens over a period of time. One of the most interesting observations that I had while accessing these social networking sites is that, a person might not even think about somebody throughout the year, but when the notification of the birthday comes in, he is quick to wish the person with a lot of love and prayers and in a short span of time, the birthday boy/girl's wall (as in facebook) or any similar medium is filled with messages and greetings. A day to celebrate my existence on this planet turns out to a day where I am showered with an exaggerated display of love and affection and a spontaneous interest in my presence all over again, after almost a year. So much for the strength of a relationship bonded by a social network.

To sum it up, reality takes a back seat and individuality is hidden inside the chest of drawers as you log into one of these networks. The password typed in forms the key to a rather superficial existence in an extremely make believe environment. When a status message put by you saying "I am feeling lonely and sad" is virtually "liked" by a couple of your online friends and then some of them follow it up with concerned enquiries as to what happened, you start questioning the credibility behind the person. I wish for a day when people log out of these social networking sites and get out into the open to meet each other, look each other in the eye and share each other's heart. Even whilesocialnetworking is indeed a good step to save time and energy, I still believe our planet requires something which is much more important - actual human interaction. The world lacks emotions now and it is time to stop emoting through emoticons :)

Wildlife Photography - a Maverick's eye!!!

“A great photograph is one that fully expresses what one feels, in the deepest sense, about what is being photographed”, remarked Ansel Adams, the renowned American photographer famous for his landscape frames. I do believe in it and when my good buddy asked me to write an informal article about my view about photography, especially bordering on wildlife photography , I thought of it as a medium to reach out to each one of you who appreciate photography as an art. Before beginning, let me tell you that I am not a photographer but to put it in simple terms, I am addicted to life and the world around me and I tend to copy the best among the whole lot into my camera.

Having worked in Stock Photography firms both international and Indian, I have had the oppurtunity of interacting via email or in person, with more than a thousand photographers. It was my job but it paved the way for me to understand the mindset of some of the best in the business. People generally make two big misinterpretations when it comes to photography. First of all, a lot of people give too much emphasis on the technical aspect of photography. Now, please do understand the fact that it is not photography which has the technical side to it but the camera. So, when photographers say about the technical aspect of photography, they are more or less referring to the technical understanding of the equipment. The second more common misinterpretation is that a professional photographer automatically classifies as an individual who clicks perfect pictures. For your understanding, the word professional is more of a tag which emphasizes the fact that the individual who gathers monetary benefit out of photography. It does not mean that he is the final word in photography. So, don’t be intimidated or disappointed by the works of so-called professional photographers. On a given day on a subject of your choice, you might very well be able to take a better photograph than an established photographer. I have experienced that first hand.

For any type of photography, a few points can be noted which would fall under the “To know and do” list. From this point on, when I speak about camera, it is essentially about the SLR cameras only.

To know and do list

· Study your camera and the technical details associated with it well. A photographer without a sound knowledge of his equipment is like a guitarist, who doesn’t know how to tune his guitar. No matter how skilled he is in playing, the sound will still be awful!

· Choose the right lenses for each shoot and clean them and test them regularly to avoid any confusions during the moment of the shoot.

· Choose a shooting posture wherein you are comfortable and most stable. Practice that posture regularly as a drill if possible so that for a quick click, your body automatically takes up that posture without delay. Ideally, I would advise the hand holding the camera to be in full contact with the chest on shooting posture, to avoid any vibration or movement.

· Learn to change lenses effectively and quickly, alone. Make sure that the lens removal process is efficient with no dust entering the sensors.

· Carry weather resistant bags or covers. You never know what kind of weather you might run into and should not essentially risk your equipment. Plastic covers are also good, as it could provide protection from rain.

· Check the settings of the camera before the shoot. The format for shooting, the in-camera sharpening, the metering etc has to be checked and confirmed before the shoot. Preparation is always nice as it keeps you disciplined and in a better position to shoot effectively without hiccups.

· Ensure that the batteries are charged, well in advance. You do not want to go on a shoot with batteries that are not fully charged. The chances are likely that you will end up missing important frames due to a camera without power.

· The camera straps are to be ideally put round the neck while shooting. In my case, it restricts my movement with the camera and so, strap is hooked onto my forearm and wound twice to avoid loosing its grip. Again, it depends on your convenience.

· A sound knowledge of an editing software, preferably Adobe Photoshop is a bonus. It is not always that you get what you strived for and if some minor corrections can conver the frame to your liking, it is always best to go for it. As a rule, I believe that a photographer has to like the subject he shoots, then like the output from it before he can expect others to probably like it too.

These are few of the basic things that can be kept in mind and these are in no way the final or the absolute list of things to do. As I said, this article is my perspective and should not be interpreted on a factual manner. I never had a guru in photography and the passion towards the art of photography combined with an addictive enthusiasm for learning from whatever source available, made me a photographer.

Let’s ponder a bit about Wildlife photography now, as I tend to favour that area of photography as my niche. Even though the term "Wildlife photography" is used, it is in a more broader sense and tend to refer to shooting any life forms other than human beings and plants. In short, there might be references to domestic animals also in the same context as a tiger or eagle.

Wildlife photography is tricky in many ways. It will be given the second rank when it comes to the difficulty level in getting a perfect image. Of course, the first rank would go to landscape photography. As Ansel Adams himself put it, “Landscape photography is the supreme test of the photographer - and often the supreme disappointment.” With photography involving human subjects inside a studio or even outdoors, the photographer does enjoy some liberties, with the subjects being in their control. If it is inside a studio, it is all the more comfortable because then the lighting is also controllable. However, with wildlife photography, practically nothing is in your control and most of the times, your intuition as a person and your affinity towards mother nature is what would help you most of the time. Along the course of this article, I would show you some sample images too to help you understand this aspect better.

It is indeed ironical that during numerous treks to almost all forests in my state ,as a nature conservationist, I never had a camera with me. When it comes to wildlife photography, I do feel that it is essential to have a good zoom lens with VR (Vibration Reduction). I use a base zoom lens (75-300mm), which does not really serve the purpose with respect to quality of the image or efficiency in operation during wildlife shoots. So, if you are ready to burn your pockets, get yourself a very good zoom lens where the price range could be above 25000Rs for sure.

For this article, I am using pictures taken from the local zoo here to introduce you to some basic points concerned with wildlife photography. Throughout this article, the emphasis is not on technical details but on a simple hands-on view to the whole art of wildlife photography. The technical details are always available anywhere but some of the tricks that you learn with experience counts a lot.

1) Learn to observe

Observation is a key element while shooting wildlife. You need to observe your surroundings and need to be alert like a hawk. In the image that follows, the frame has been visualised differently. For a normal person, it would be ideal to wait for the pigeons to fly off or probably settle down before getting the giraffe, mostly right in the center of the frame. That is indeed a very normal way of shooting. Of course, you have come to the zoo to get a picture of the giraffe and that is what is important. But, look at the frame below and you will notice that even with the pigeons flying around, the focus is still on the giraffe. The addition of the pigeons add a life to the image and does not make it a simple giraffe in a rectangle. Observe for such minor modifications that you can naturally bring into the frame and it could work wonders in the final output.

2) Choose a good frame

Framing has always been considered as an important element of photography. On simple terms, it essentially refers to your judgement on the placement of the subject in your camera’s grid. For me, framing is again not a science based on squares in a rectangular space but more to do with your eye and sense of order. For a normal person, the important aspect would be to capture the subject in focus and generally, that would mean to capture the subject right on the dead center of the frame. It is good to do it but most of the times, such a frame would actually look lifeless. In the image below, the first point mentioned above came into play where the observation happened that the owls were sitting in a quite unique formation. Then, for framing, if the owls were right on the center of the frame, it would not actually show the color blending of the background wall with the owl’s colour. When the owls are shifted to one side of the frame, the colour of the background wall is seen clearly and in turn it projects the owls more in the frame. Also, in the bottom part of the frame, part of the log on which they were sitting is also included. An addition of that log actually gives the image a more realistic and natural look. If the log was not there and just the owls and the background, it would have looked more like a composite image with the owls just pasted on the background.

3) Anticipation and Prediction

It is always nice to study a bit about the animals and birds that you plan to shoot, so that you can know their behavioral patterns and can generally anticipate a reaction and predict a frame. It essentially gets you ready and in 8 times out of 10, you can walk away with a perfect frame. In the image below, as I stood near that open enclosure, the bear was opening its mouth slightly and looking bored overall. Judging by the hot climate, the anticipation came in that an unavoidable rest routine was to follow and a yawn was expected promptly. 10 minutes of waiting got rewarded with the huge yawn seen below. Patience is a virtue my friend and combine it with a love for nature and its inhabitants, you will mostly be gifted with wonderful frames.

4) Thinking out of the box

A good frame is always great but then again inorder to get to that frame, it helps to think out of the box with respect to certain subjects. With animals, you essentially think about capturing their whole form. But, the key element is the animal or bird and how you perceive their character and their impact on this planet. It could be deciding factor on that frame sometimes. In the image below, I could have gone for a complete body shot of the crocodile. But, looking at the light and the proximity to the crocodile, I felt I should tighten the frame and bring out a different angle. In short, with the frame below, it hints at one of the first footsteps to grace this planet and more of a tribute to one of the most ancient and long standing species. It could work in the same way for different other animals like the feathers for a peacock, the eye for an eagle, the claws of a vulture etc. Each of the above mentioned frames uniquely identify that particular animal and could give a totally fresh perspective to your image.

5) Panning and capturing movement

Panning is a very crucial element of wildlife photography. Technically, it is a method to capture fast motion with only the main subject in focus in the foreground. A good knowledge of an animal’s movement pattern can help you anticipate a specific move and help you capture it. It is always useful particularly with hyperactive animals like monkeys and also, birds in flight. The trick is to keep a constant focus on the subject and move the camera along with it without losing the focus. It might appear difficult at first but with constant practice, it would become rather easy. In the image below, the monkey was hunching up as if to jump and all I had to do was ascertain the possible trajectory and have the camera ready to click at the exact moment. With practice, it would become natural to click at the precise moment.Panning works with any moving subjects and can be return extremely wonderful frames especially with birds in flight.

6) Look for good lighting and shadows

Lighting is a very important factor of any type of photography and wildlife photography is not different. You can even use it to your advantage with certain subjects and can actually use shadows also to create a more dynamic effect. Make sure that you observe the light and look around to ensure that no shadows are coming over excessively over the subject you are shooting. The best time generally for shooting is early morning or in the evening after 4. It would be really tough to shoot in the afternoons as the sun might be mercilessly bright and giving you results which you might not expect. In the image given below, the light was wonderful in the way it fell on that crocodiles front portion and the shadows that fell on the posterior part of its body gave the whole image a more dynamic and mysterious look. It could make the subject more aggressive or even make it project out more in the frame.

7) Color combinations

It is always nice to observe the color combination in the frame and a careful consideration of such frames can give amazing results. You can see the result of observing color combination in the image of the two owls, given above. Sometimes, minor adjustments in where you stand or maybe even kneeling on the ground can change the background to an extent that the whole frame might look different and appealing. Don’t be hesitant to kneel or even lie on the floor to get a better frame with good colors. I have seen people being embarrassed to do that but remember that you are shooting for yourself and the final output depends on how much effort you put in, to get that good shot. In the image below, a 20 minutes wait by the tiger enclosure got me this frame but I am glad I did since it returned the best photograph ever captured on my camera, to date. The yellow and orange colours of the tiger’s body, blends in perfectly with the green algae infested water. A lot of people had asked me whether compositing was done on the image by placing the tiger later, in the image with just the water in it. Well, that is what a good frame can do to the viewers.

8) Extraordinary in the ordinary

This is again a totally different element to photography and has got to do more with your eye and its perception powers than any technical aspect. You need to train your eye to find excitement in anything that you see around. To put it in simple terms, you should be able to see life in a centipede as much as you see life in a lion. People tend to forget this aspect and look at only certain beings in awe. For me, anything and everything around me surprises me and excites me. This helps because it keeps my senses alert and helps me find beautiful frames in normal scenarios. In the image given below, bats are flying around in a disturbed state. For a normal guy, it might not be special because they are just bats and you get to see them in bunches on the trees. But, to see such a huge flock of bats in flight during broad daylight is indeed special. That makes this frame special and kinda puts it in the extra ordinary category. So, is all in the manner in which you see the world around you. Focus on the world around you in detail and it can get you interesting and surprising results in the frames.

In short, I do agree that technical knowledge is quintessential but when it comes to wildlife photography, but relying more on your instincts and quick response could get you great shots. For subjects which are unpredictable and beyond your control and lighting which could vary drastically in seconds, you don’t have much time to work on the settings to get a perfect shot. You need to have a basic idea, set the camera in advance and make sure that you have already visualized a frame in your mind to enable the click at that perfect moment. Trusting your instincts backed by a good knowledge of the subjects, the location and the equipment along with a little bit of luck can deliver you a good wildlife image.

To end with Ansel Adams’ quote yet again – ““It is my intention to present - through the medium of photography - intuitive observations of the natural world which may have meaning to the spectators.”